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A Virtuous Woman
5 Ways to Be a Virtuous Woman
Stephanie Englehart
The familiar coffee shop didn’t ease my discomfort as I
sat in their large leather chairs by a roaring fire.
I continued to wrestle internally with the disdain and
shame of who I was as a woman, wife, mother, and friend.
My life was not Pinterest worthy. I did not feel like the
modern Martha Stewart or the classy, courageous DC Comics image of Wonder
Woman.
Like many women, I had the image of a virtuous woman in my
head, but I did not fit the bill. Nonetheless, I sought scripture and found 5
ways to become a virtuous woman; 5 ways that ultimately put my soul at ease.
What Is a Virtuous Woman?
The ‘eshet-chayil’ is the Hebrew term for virtuous woman
or woman of valor. Eshet is the word for woman, and Chayil is defined as valiant, strong
or virtuous.
In Proverbs 31:10 (AMP) eshet-chayil is
translated as “An excellent woman [one who is spiritual, capable,
intelligent, and virtuous]…”
This term eshet-chayil or, the virtuous woman, is only
found in the Bible three times. We see her referenced
once in the book of Ruth and twice in the book of Proverbs.
First, in the book of Ruth we see a brave widow sacrifice
her own well-being and prosperity to take care of her mother-in-law.
As she goes out on a limb to provide for her family, her
kindness, generosity, and faith in the face of adversity are valued and earn
her the title ‘woman of excellence’ (Ruth 3:11).
Later, in the book of Proverbs, we find two more accounts
of this Hebrew word.
It’s referenced once in Proverbs 12:4, and then the virtuous woman is
described in full in Proverbs 31:10-31.
Proverbs 31 tributes 21 verses to
describing this sought after virtuous woman.
She’s trustworthy (verse 11),
encouraging (verse 12),
works diligently (verse 13),
strong (verse 17),
well prepared (verse 18),
generous (verse 20),
brave (verse 21),
resourceful (verses 14-16 and 24),
wise (verse 26),
and well thought of (verse 28).
But most importantly, she fears the Lord (verse 30).
How Do We Become Virtuous Women?
Simply put, we become these marvelous women of valor by
fearing the Lord.
Proverbs 31:30 says: “Charm is
deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be
praised.”
We can become these wise, generous, and beautifully brave
women through a deep devotion to the God of the Bible.
The study note for Proverbs 31:29 in the Amplified Bible
says it this way:
“The source of this remarkable woman’s success and
competence is revealed in verse 30, and it is a source available to everyone.
She is wise because she understands and puts into practice the message
contained in Proverbs 9:10”
If we flip back a few pages in our Bible to Proverbs 9:10 we see that the “fear of
the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is
understanding”.
This virtuous woman became the amazing woman she was
because she knew and feared God.
How Does the Virtuous Woman Fear the
Lord?
The Virtuous woman has reverent and awe-struck fear of the
Lord.
She has such a trust in His sovereignty and power that she
can “laugh at the days to come” (Proverbs 31:25).
John Piper, in his sermon A Woman Who Fears the Lord is to be Praised describes
a mighty fear of the Lord like this:
“The fear of the Lord is fear of fleeing out of his
fellowship into the way of sin. Therefore, the fear of the Lord is full of
peace and security and hope. It keeps us near to the merciful heart of God, our
fortress, our refuge, our sanctuary, our shield, our sun. Isaiah 8:13 says, ‘The Lord of Hosts . .
. let him be your fear, and let him be your dread, and he will become a
sanctuary.’ A proper fear of the Lord keeps us under the shadow of his wings
where we need not be afraid.”
Both Ruth and Proverbs 31 depict this virtuous woman of
faith who feared the Lord. In order to become this eshet-chayil that the Bible
speaks of, there are five core beliefs or practices we must
consider:
1. A Virtuous Woman Obeys God’s
Word
God’s word must be at the center as we seek to become
virtuous women. It is only in our understanding of God’s word that we will come
to know and develop a reverent fear of the Lord.
In Matthew 4:4 we read that “Man shall
not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”
A virtuous woman views time in God’s word as if it is the
very food that nourishes her body. She thinks of it as something she cannot
live a day without.
She sees that God’s word is “profitable for teaching,
for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of
God may be competent, equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
The virtuous woman knows that “the word of God is
living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division
of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and
intentions of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).
But the virtuous woman also knows that knowing the word
and not heeding it’s instruction is worthless.
James 1:22-25 says: “Do not merely
listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone
who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks
at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and
immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect
law that gives freedom, and continues in it — not forgetting what they have
heard, but doing it — they will be blessed in what they do.”
She knows that her obedience to the Lord is vital to her
understanding of the Word. As Jesus states in John 14:15: “If you love me, you will keep
my commandments”.
2. A Virtuous Woman Prays
The virtuous woman “prays without ceasing” (1 Thes. 5:17).
She follows Jesus’ lead and retreats to a “desolate
place… to pray” (Mark 1:35).
The virtuous woman handles her anxiety and stress “by
prayer and supplication with thanksgiving” (Philippians 4:6).
When suffering and the burdens of this world become too
much to bear, the virtuous woman knows that “the Spirit helps us in our
weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit
himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words” (Romans 8:26).
The virtuous woman acknowledges, as Mary did, that time
spent with Jesus is precious, and not to be taken for granted (Luke 10:38-42).
3. A Virtuous Woman Lives in
Community
The virtuous woman enjoys being an integral part of the
church (Romans 12:4, 1 Corinthians 12:12-27).
She understands that we are to be devoted to the
fellowship of the body (Acts 2:42).
The virtuous woman is willing to live out the command to “bear
one another burdens” in Galatians 6:2.
And she looks to James 5:16, Titus 2, and 1 Thessalonians 5:14 as she seeks to live
authentically and graciously among other believers.
4. A Virtuous Woman Serves
The virtuous woman believes service follows the fear of
the Lord (1 Samuel 12:24).
She is a woman who seeks to serves the least of these (Matthew 25:34-39).
She gazes at Jesus’ words to “love the Lord your God
with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”… “and
love your neighbor as yourself” and desires to live them out (Matthew 22:37-39).
5. A Virtuous Woman Clings to the
Gospel
At the end of the day, when we look at the virtuous woman
depicted in scripture, we should not seek to become more like her, but rather
look to, and become more like Jesus.
The virtuous woman clings to the gospel. She is a sinner,
simply saved by the grace of Jesus Christ.
There is no magic formula, only faith. Faith in Christ
creates the virtuous woman (2 Corinthians 5:17).
She knows that Jesus’ life, death, burial, and
resurrection not only saves her from eternity in hell, but it is the sustaining
grace that furthers her sanctification (Romans 10:9-13, 1 Corinthians 15:1-4, 1 John 4:9-10).
Because of this, the virtuous woman regularly repents of
sin, and turns to the gospel and the promises of God to fight temptation and
heartache (1 John 1:9, Romans 12:2).
She believes that God’s grace is transformative (Titus 3:5, Ephesians 2:8-9, Galatians 2:20), and as she clings to the power of Jesus’ blood, she becomes “clothed
with strength and dignity; she laughs at the days to come. She speaks with
wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:25-26).
As this virtuous woman clings to the gospel, she fears the
Lord. She sees the depth of her sin, and how it is covered in an ocean of
unmerited grace. And that, leads her to joyful praise.
Stephanie Englehart is a Seattle native, church planter’s wife, mama,
and lover of all things coffee, the great outdoors, and fine (easy to make)
food. Stephanie is passionate about allowing God to use her honest
thoughts and confessions to bring gospel application to life. You can read more
of what she writes on the Ever Sing blog at stephaniemenglehart.com or
follow her on Instagram: @stephaniemenglehart.
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