IF YOU DON’T GET FLOWERS TODAY - I felt like a cup with no bottom. No matter what I put inside the cup, I didn’t feel full. Roses, chocolate, books, TV shows, fantasies and even relationships couldn’t fill it. Loneliness seemed to be the only thing filling that bottomless space, and I was weary of its constant, haunting presence. Loneliness lingered every time I craved love and attention that was in such short supply. But God was showing me a truth I needed to learn from His Word: “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in people.” I began to realize only God could serve as my refuge, my safe place and my salvation. Though people are wonderful, they are not infinite. They aren’t always available when we need them, and none of them provide perfect understanding. However, God is infinite, ever present and all-knowing. As we study His ways, we learn God is ready, able and willing to fill us up with His love. We learn this best by hiding away with Him in a place of refuge. The more time I spent in God’s presence, the less I depended on relationships to meet all my needs. God is our refuge in lonely times.

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If You Don’t Get Flowers Today

only God could serve as my refuge, my safe place and my salvation

Sarah Geringer

 “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in people.” Psalm 118:8 (NLT)

I carefully lifted my windshield wiper to retrieve the frozen pink rose that cold Valentine’s Day years ago.

A freshman in college, I had stopped by my car to eat a snack between my morning classes and excitedly wondered who sent me this surprise.

My heart pounded in anticipation.

Starting up the engine for warmth, I rubbed my palms together before opening the attached card.

The rose was from … my mom. Her words in the card were kind and encouraging. So why did I still feel empty inside?

The truth was, I wished the rose was from a secret admirer. A young man, not my mom.

Since my last date had been an embarrassing dud, spaced far after the previous one, I longed for a new romance to fill me up. My guilt and loneliness combined into a frustrating mixture.

I felt like a cup with no bottom.

No matter what I put inside the cup, I didn’t feel full. Roses, chocolate, books, TV shows, fantasies and even relationships couldn’t fill it.

Loneliness seemed to be the only thing filling that bottomless space, and I was weary of its constant, haunting presence.

My parents divorced when I was 4 years old, and the day my daddy left was the day loneliness took up permanent residence in my heart and mind.

Though I wished it would go away, I had no power to push it out the door. Loneliness lingered every time I craved love and attention that was in such short supply.

Then in high school, I developed resentment over the flowers and gifts I saw lined up in the cafeteria every February 14.

None of them were for me. I believed the devil’s whispered lie — None of them will ever be for you. You’ll always be lonely.

About 15 years after that frozen-rose morning, I sat in a counselor’s office.

After listening to my stories of constant loneliness, he observed, “Relationships are very important to you, aren’t they?”

His simple, judgment-free question was a pivotal point in my spiritual journey.

A few days after the counseling session, God nudged me with a new idea: Perhaps relationships were too important to me.

Though I was a wife, mother of three and friend to many, I still felt lonely.

But God was showing me a truth I needed to learn from His Word: “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in people” (Psalm 118:8).

For far too long, I had looked to people to fill me. But my husband, children, best friend and small group companions couldn’t remove my loneliness.

They were never designed to completely fill my needs. I began to realize only God could serve as my refuge, my safe place and my salvation.

Though people are wonderful, they are not infinite. They aren’t always available when we need them, and none of them provide perfect understanding.

However, God is infinite (Revelation 1:8), ever present (Deuteronomy 31:6) and all-knowing (1 Chronicles 28:9).

As we study His ways, we learn God is ready, able and willing to fill us up with His love. We learn this best by hiding away with Him in a place of refuge.

The more time I spent in God’s presence, the less I depended on relationships to meet all my needs.

Time with loved ones became bonuses on top of the loving intimacy I enjoyed with Jesus.

I no longer required proof of human love on Valentine’s Day — or any other day.

God is our refuge in lonely times, and that’s more than enough proof He loves us.

Lord, thank You for never abandoning me in my lonely times.

I confess I have tried too hard to fill up my lonely spaces with relationships or things that can never fill me up.

Remind me when I hide away in my safe place with You, I will experience Your perfect peace.

Meet me in my loneliness with Your loving presence. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY

Psalm 59:17, “O my Strength, to you I sing praises, for you, O God, are my refuge, the God who shows me unfailing love.” (NLT)

Psalm 142:5, “Then I pray to you, O LORD. I say, ‘You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life.’” (NLT)

RELATED RESOURCES

Do you need help to overcome the lies Satan is whispering to you? Grab a copy of Sarah Geringer’s book, Transforming Your Thought Life: Christian Meditation in Focus.

CONNECT

Sarah writes about loneliness, healing and finding peace in God’s Word at sarahgeringer.com.

REFLECT AND RESPOND

Which days cause loneliness to haunt you most? How can you turn to God as your refuge in those lonely times? Share your ideas in our comments section.

Sarah Geringer is a speaker, artist and author of Transforming Your Thought Life: Christian Meditation in Focus, published by Leafwood Publishers. When she’s not reading over 100 books per year, Sarah enjoys painting, baking, gardening and playing the flute. She lives in her beloved home state of Missouri with her husband and three children. Her must-haves are hot tea, dark chocolate, and fresh flowers. Sarah writes about finding peace in God’s Word.

Proverbs 31 Ministries is a non-denominational, non-profit Christian ministry that seeks to lead women into a personal relationship with Christ. With Proverbs 31:10-31 as a guide, Proverbs 31 Ministries reaches women in the middle of their busy days through free devotions, podcasts, speaking events, conferences, resources, online Bible studies, and training in the call to write, speak and lead others. We are real women offering real-life solutions to those striving to maintain life’s balance, in spite of today’s hectic pace and cultural pull away from godly principles. Wherever a woman may be on her spiritual journey, Proverbs 31 Ministries exists to be a trusted friend who understands the challenges she faces, walks by her side, encouraging her as she walks toward the heart of God.

https://www.proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2020/02/14/if-you-dont-get-flowers-today

WHEN A SEA OF FEAR IS RAGING ALL AROUND YOU - Fear can take many faces and be the driving force behind good as well as evil. The problem is when fear is the driving force, there is no peace or joy. As children of God, we are created to live out peace and joy. Oftentimes, we are so caught up in the storm of fear that it becomes our norm and we don’t see life as it really is. The Word of God gives us multiple examples showing us the way out of fear. As we familiarize ourselves with the God of the storm -- the God over fear -- He gently leads us out of fear and into faith. When a sea of fear is raging around us, He shows us the way out.

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When a Sea of Fear is Raging All Around

3 Things to Do When a Sea of Fear Is Raging All around You

Misty Honnold

Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer

Fear is a force that seeks to suck us under its waves and draw us to the depths of despair or trap us in a whirlpool of never being enough. 

David certainly identified with fear in Psalm 55:4-5, 7: 

“My heart is in anguish within me, And the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fear and trembling come upon me, And horror has overwhelmed me... I would hasten to my place of refuge From the stormy wind and tempest."

Fear can take many faces and be the driving force behind good as well as evil. The problem is when fear is the driving force, there is no peace or joy.

As children of God, we are created to live out peace and joy.

Oftentimes, we are so caught up in the storm of fear that it becomes our norm and we don’t see life as it really is.

Fear was once my closest friend. As a young adult, I had the realization that most of what I had accomplished throughout life had been done out of fear.

Over and over, I had bowed to fear as the god of my life.

Even the good that I had accomplished had been done because of fear: fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of not being enough or being too much, fear of judgment, fear of pain... the list goes on and on.

I was caught in a tumultuous sea of fear; it had become my norm and I didn’t know how to escape. 

Fortunately, the Word of God gives us multiple examples showing us the way out of fear.

As we familiarize ourselves with the God of the storm -- the God over fear -- He gently leads us out of fear and into faith.

When a sea of fear is raging around us, He shows us the way out. 

Take refuge in the ark.

“For forty days the flood kept coming on the earth, and as the waters increased they lifted the ark high above the earth. The waters rose and increased greatly on the earth, and the ark floated on the surface of the water. They rose greatly on the earth, and all the high mountains under the entire heavens were covered.” (Genesis 7:17-19)

Noah’s ark was a vessel of salvation.

Noah and his family had to enter into the ark by the one door and while the storms raged and mankind ceased to be, God kept Noah and his family safe.

There was only one way to enter the ark, and there is only one way to our ultimate safety -- through Jesus Christ.

Like Noah, we can run to our ark, Jesus, when the storms of fear seek to devour us and find safe refuge and all we need.

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower; The righteous runs into it and is safe.” (Proverbs 18:10)

Speak to the storm.

“A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, ‘Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?’

“He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, ‘Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?’ They were terrified and asked each other, ‘Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!’” (Mark 4:37-41)

In this passage, Jesus has just come away from a full day of teaching and training. 

Oftentimes after I have spent a day of powerful teaching and equipping, the enemy rages around me telling me things like “you failed, you missed the mark, you didn’t represent Jesus well.”

Fears start to swell up in my mind and overflow into my heart. Like the disciples, I can easily focus on the waves.

However, I have learned the benefit of looking at Christ who was completely at rest. In fact, “He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow.” 

Jesus was resting in the boat while the disciples were trembling in fear.

He rose up at their request and calmed the storm by speaking to the wind and the waves: “Peace, be still.”

He spoke peace and peace came, not only to the wind and the waves, but also to the people in the boat.

When we let the Prince of Peace arise in us and speak to the storm, things calm down. 

“The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.” (Romans 16:20)

Get out of the boat.

“Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. ‘It’s a ghost,’ they said, and cried out in fear.

“But Jesus immediately said to them: ‘Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.’ ‘Lord, if it’s you,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.’ ‘Come,’ he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.

“But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’

“And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the Son of God.’” (Matthew 14:25-33)

Here we have a great picture of the disciples once again cowering in fear.

In this story, the disciples aren’t necessarily fearful of the storm, but in fact are battling against the storm.

Fear rises up when Jesus shows Himself in a way they had never seen before. 

So many times in life we may face a storm, even a familiar storm, but Jesus wants to come and show us a new way to overcome.

Battling against the waves of fear is not doing the trick and Jesus wants us to walk over the waves of fear.

Fear arose when the disciples saw Jesus walking on the water. Maybe they didn’t want to have their paradigm of a “nice, safe Jesus” confronted. 

As disciples, we are called to do what we see our Teacher doing and if He walks on water, we need to develop the courage to do so also.

But the disciples became afraid and cowered in the boat. Jesus reminds us “it is I… do not be afraid.” 

So, we, like Peter, can get out of the boat and walk on the water with Jesus, but we must keep our eyes on Him lest we sink.

The good news is, if we find ourselves sinking under the waves of fear, all we need to do is reach out and He will take us by the hand and lift us up over the waves of fear. 

Jesus is the way out of fear. Whether we run into His name and find safety, speak to the raging sea of fear, or walk on the waves of fear, He is showing us, leading us, and guiding us on how to overcome.

We must keep our eyes fixed on Him, the Overcomer--our Overcomer.

Misty Honnold is the Founder and Director of the non-profit organization The Single MOM KC.  Misty equips, trains and empowers women to discover the source of their strength in Christ. She publishes a weekly blog on the website The Single MOM KC as well as freelances for other publications. 

https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/women/3-things-to-do-when-a-sea-of-fear-is-raging-all-around-you.html