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Sharon Jaynes
“Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night
in the villages.” Song of Songs 7:11 (NIV)
It was time to clean out part of my attic:
furniture for a consignment store, three lamps to take to a nonprofit thrift
shop and many items that went straight to the trash.
In one corner sat memorabilia we’d saved from my
in-laws’ attic years ago. That’s when I saw it.
Tucked under a dusty old chair was a tattered
box. I pulled back the musty flaps and slid out what appeared to be a letter.
I gasped as I lifted the frail envelope and
unfolded sacred words from my father-in-law, Bruce, to his girlfriend, Mary
Ellen.
More than 500 letters had been stowed away in a
cardboard box … until now.
I pulled out the fragile treasures one by one
and read intimate words of devotion from a man head over heels for his high
school sweetheart.
The letters began with a soldier writing to the
girl back home — one he pursued with pen and ink.
And then about a third of the way through, the
letters changed. The envelopes were no longer addressed to Mary Ellen Boone,
but to Mary Ellen Jaynes.
The Song of Solomon, which some versions call
Song of Songs, is a lot like those letters hidden in a box.
Tucked between the introspective book of
Ecclesiastes and the prophetic book of Isaiah is a work of poetry that
memorialized mutual attraction, romantic love, sexual desire and enduring
marriage between a man smitten and a woman enchanted.
I devoured the pages of the Song to discover
what the couple did to make their marriage work.
I saw that they flirted and fought, made out and
made up, served and savored, and never stopped exploring new ways to keep their
marriage fresh.
And I wondered: Why is
it that passionate romance routinely fizzles out over the years? Why does a
soul mate so easily become a roommate? Why does the rapid heartbeat of
excitement in the early years morph into the heavyheartedness of disappointment
in the later years?
There are many reasons why passion cools, but it
doesn’t have to. That certainly isn’t God’s plan. He has a much different
desire for your marriage and mine.
Yes, sexual intimacy will change as we grow
older. That’s a given. But I believe intimacy can grow and mature into
something sweeter, deeper and more profound than any frantic frenzy ever could
be.
The Shulammite in the Song was a wise woman who
took deliberate action to keep her marriage strong. I envision her sauntering
up to her husband as he’s overseeing the fields. She whispers in his ear,
flirting with him still.
“Come, my beloved, let us go
to the countryside,
let us spend the night in the villages.
Let us go early to the vineyards
to see if the vines have budded,
if their blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates are in bloom —
there I will give you my love.
The mandrakes send out their fragrance,
and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
that I have stored up for you, my beloved” (Song of Songs 7:11-13, NIV).
let us spend the night in the villages.
Let us go early to the vineyards
to see if the vines have budded,
if their blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates are in bloom —
there I will give you my love.
The mandrakes send out their fragrance,
and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
that I have stored up for you, my beloved” (Song of Songs 7:11-13, NIV).
Whoa, that might not be what you’d expect from a
devotion or your daily Bible reading, but God made sure it was in the Bible for
a reason.
At this point in the song, Solomon and his
Shulammite have been married a while, but the Shulammite is flirting with her
man.
She’s coaxing him to steal away to spend some
alone time with her.
No doubt Solomon had been busy running the
kingdom, overseeing his land and ruling his people. Just like all married
couples, they needed to get away for some time by themselves.
With his wife’s flirtatious attention, I don’t
think it took too long for Solomon to change his schedule, cancel his meetings
and pack his bags.
So, what can we learn from the
Shulammite in this passage?
• Take time away for just you
and your husband.
• Remember to have fun
together.
• Flirting is a good thing …
as long as it’s with your own husband!
Lord, thank You for my husband. Help me not to
get so busy taking care of life that I forget to take care of love. Show both
of us ways to keep our marriage a priority. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
TRUTH FOR TODAY
Song of Songs 5:16b, “This is my beloved, this
is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem.” (NIV)
RELATED RESOURCES
In our sex-saturated culture, we’re constantly
bombarded by destructive, unrealistic depictions of romance and intimacy. But
the real problem is not that we focus on sex too much, but that we value it too
little. In Sharon Jaynes’ new book, Lovestruck: Discovering God’s Design for Romance, Marriage,
and Sexual Intimacy from the Song of Solomon, she reveals what
God intended when He gave the gift of sex and said, “It is good.”
CONNECT
Visit Sharon’s website for
her many FREE marriage downloads and resources.
REFLECT AND RESPOND
How can you flirt with your husband today? Why
do you think it is important, no matter how long you’ve been married?
Join the conversation! Share your thoughts about
one way that you flirt with your husband.
Sharon
Jaynes served as vice president
and radio co-host for Proverbs 31 Ministries from 1996-2006. She is a
best-selling author of 24 books and Bible studies, including Enough:
Silencing the Lies that Steal Your Confidence, Praying for Your Husband from
Head to Toe: A Daily Guide to Scripture-Based Prayer, Take Hold of the Faith
You Long For: Let Go-Move Forward-Live Bold, and her latest
release--Lovestruck: Discovering God's Design for Romance, Marriage, and Sexual
Intimacy from the Song of Solomon.
Sharon
has been featured on several radio and television programs such as Focus
on the Family, Family Life Today, Revive Our Hearts, and The 700 Club. But
what she loves most is speaking to women face-to-face at women's conferences
and events. Her passion is encouraging and empowering women to walk in courage
and confidence as they grasp their true identity as a child of God and co-heir
with Christ. She’s a storyteller who loves weaving biblical principles and
powerful stories to help the Bible come alive. Sharon and her husband Steve have
been married 39 years. They have one son, Steven, who is married to someone
Sharon says is the sweetest girl ever, Emily. They live 767.5 miles away (yes,
she’s counted them).
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