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Marriage And The Beatitudes Of Jesus
8 Secrets to a Lasting Marriage in Jesus’ Beatitudes
Author : Kevin A.
Thompson
They’re a request to abandon the natural
responses and assumptions of life in order to live by a unique set of values.
Living in this way changes everything, especially marriage.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit . . . those who
mourn. . . the meek . . . those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. . .
the merciful . . . the pure in heart . . . the peacemakers . . .those who are
persecuted because of righteousness,” Jesus
said.
These are the
lucky ones in God’s eyes; this is the ethic of God’s kingdom.
If this is how God invites us to live now, if
God designed marriage and desires it to bring him glory, it only makes sense
that these characteristics define a healthy marriage.
Inside out in an outside in world.
We
live in an outside-in world, but the kingdom of heaven is inside
out. It comes first to the human heart and then makes itself known
to the world.
It
seeks out the small and seemingly insignificant. It comes incognito to this
world in the form of a tiny baby in a remote location.
It
doesn’t spread through mass communication but through a relationship of one
person to another.
It
doesn’t come in a shout but in a whisper.
It
doesn’t first come to kings and rulers but to common men and women.
It’s
just as concerned with the humble choices of a mom as the powerful decisions of
Congress.
It’s
just as focused on how we treat the powerless as how we treat the powerful.
The
kingdom of God is inside out: more concerned with the heart than the
appearance. So, God changes us from the inside out. He purifies our heart long
before he changes our appearance.
He
changes our attitudes before our actions.
He
changes our motivations before our outcomes.
Let’s
see how He can work on our marriage from within:
1. “Blessed are the poor in spirit.”
Understanding
our spiritual bankruptcy before God, our complete inability to save ourselves
or others, we should attack the great enemy of a good marriage — pride. When we
understand our need, it creates the climate in which we can learn and mature.
2. “Blessed are those who mourn.”
We
are a fallen people living in a fallen world. As we make an emotional
connection to our sin, we can experience the comfort God gives. Emotional
denial prevents us from realizing the comfort God offers. Emotional denial
within marriage prevents us from connecting with one another.
3. “Blessed are the meek.”
It
is neither the weak nor the arrogant who are blessed. Never showing anger and
raging over every issue are two sides of the same coin. Neither is a healthy
expression of passion.
4. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for
righteousness.”
Every
couple will fight. Either we will fight together, or we will fight each other.
Having a common pursuit is vital for any marriage. We were created to strive toward
godliness. Having tasted God’s grace, we desire to live in response to what he
has done for us. It is a hunger and thirst not for money, power, or fame but
for righteousness that leads to blessing.
5. “Blessed are the merciful.”
Giving
and receiving mercy is the climate in which marriage is supposed to be lived.
Without mercy, we could never be loved or find anyone to love. With mercy, all
things are possible.
6. “Blessed are the pure in heart.”
There
is an enemy of marriage, and he attempts to attack the heart of it. We must
guard our hearts if we are going to have any chance to make it. Impurity will
cloud our eyes, making it impossible to see each other or God.
7. “Blessed are the peacemakers.”
We
live in a world that divides and conquers, but blessing comes to those who can
unite and advance. Peacemaking is a major task for the bride and groom who want
to have a happy marriage.
8. “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness.”
Success
doesn’t come easily. There is a tremendous cost for what is most important. As
we live by a different ethic, we will rub others the wrong way and confuse
them, and often they will feel judged because we have chosen differently.
Sorrow is sure to come, and regret is guaranteed when we guard our marriage
above all things.
Start with humility.
The
order of these commitments is no accident. While each influences the other,
there is a natural progression to how Jesus listed these attitudes.
It
all begins with humility.
As
we recognize our own need before God and embrace our poverty of spirit, we are
pushed into action.
Knowing
our own need allows us to properly mourn not only our failures but also, the
inadequacies of our spouse as well as the fallible nature of a union between
two broken people.
As
we grieve what isn’t, we are also motivated to make things the best we can.
This demands from us meekness.
Avoid apathy and aggression; and embrace peace.
Avoiding
both apathy and aggression empowers us to make changes — not just for ourselves
but in the context of a higher calling.
Ultimately,
our relationships were meant to bring glory to God as we reflect aspects of his
nature through our love for one another.
Lest
we become overwhelmed by the task before us, we are reminded of our need for
mercy. We must receive it and give it. As we do, our hearts are purified,
allowing us to put aside falsehood and embrace truth.
And
it’s only when our hearts are in the process of purification that we can begin
to do the hard work of making peace.
This article is an adapted excerpt from Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love &
Last by Kevin Thompson, Revell, a division
of Baker Publishing Group, ©2018. Used with permission.
Kevin A. Thompson is a lead pastor at Community Bible Church in Arkansas. He
meets with hundreds of couples annually with a range of needs from pre-marital
counseling to surviving betrayal. A marriage and parenting conference speaker,
Kevin and his wife, Jenny, have two children. Learn more at kevinathompson.com
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