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Family Curses
How to Break Family Curses
Andrew Linder
We
all have them —negative memories, character traits, and struggles from our
upbringing and our past.
It
may be a difficulty saying the words, "I
love you" or showing physical affection to our spouse or children.
Or
it may be something painful, like the struggle of dealing with a crazy temper
or not speaking up in the heat of the moment.
It
might even be something harmful like an addiction to substance abuse or even
physical abuse.
These struggles are very real;
when passed down from one generation to the next, these negative habits or
traits are often referred to as family curses. And we all have them, whether
they're big, glaring, or small and hidden.
But
saying "I can never change because
that's just who I am or that's just how I was raised" is not an
acceptable excuse.
Whatever
the family curse is, it's time to break it before it gets passed onto future
generations.
Here
are some practical ideas for how to break a family curse. (Easily remembered by
A.B.C.)
1. Admit that it's a problem.
The first step to change in any
area of our life is to acknowledge that the way we're doing things is not
working and is not beneficial to our end goal.
I
have met many people who will excuse and justify a lot of wrong behavior simply
because of their last name by saying, "Well, that's just a part of me
being a _______."
A
last name is never an excuse for losing one's temper, speaking one's mind no
matter who it hurts or failing to say the words "I love you" to those
who need to hear it.
A
person's past is not the No. 1 determining factor of their future — their choices are.
Until
you recognize this issue as a problem, you will never work towards a solution.
So start by getting honest with yourself and admit that it's a problem.
2. Begin the process of change.
This is where the rubber meets
the road.
Determining
you're going to change for yourself, your family and your future will not
happen simply out of a desire to change.
You've
got to make a commitment to start catching yourself when you slip and make
course corrections in your actions and behavior.
You
might even need to ask someone (or your entire family) to help hold you
accountable to your commitment.
And
when they point things out to you and actually hold you accountable, it's
imperative that you're not defensive, but humble.
If
your family curse is something more extreme, it might even require that you get
outside help. This is going to be a process with ups and downs, but you can
succeed if you stay committed to the end result.
3.
Commit to finishing the course.
Family
curses are hard to break. If they were easy to break, everyone would be doing
it.
So
once you've admitted the problem and begun the process of change, it is
imperative that you commit to finishing the course.
Keep
working until you make the necessary changes for your family's future
generations that are counting on you to lay the foundation for them to build
on.
It's
not fair for our children to have to face family curses in their future simply
because we weren't willing to come face to face with them in the present.
For
the sake of yourself, your children, and your grandchildren —
Note: The above are practical steps to help make life-changing
results happen. Seek additional counsel or professional treatment as needed,
depending on the severity of your family curse.
What
family curse has come to your mind as you're reading this that you need to
change? 
Andrew Linder is a husband and the
father of four awesome kids. He is passionate about intentional parenting and
helping other parents and leaders effectively reach the next generation.
This article originally appeared at allprodad.com.
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