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Rick and Kay Warren
A Grieving Family's
Courage
How can there be hope in such heartbreak?
by Rubel Shelly
Making Life Work for Your Family
I'd seen snippets of Piers Morgan interviews before, but I
had never seen a complete hour of his program.
Last week, however, my wife and I sat silently for 60
minutes to hear every word of what Morgan later called the most-inspiring
interview of his journalistic career. We were deeply moved by it.
Rick and Kay Warren shared incredibly personal and intimate
details about the tormented life and tragic death of their 27-year-old son,
Matthew.
Matthew committed suicide in April with a gun he bought
illegally on the Internet. He had threatened suicide countless times and had
attempted to take his life before.
Probably the highest-profile preacher of this generation,
Rick Warren humbled himself to speak of a father's love, his family's pain, and
the awful aftermath of what bars Catholics from burial in consecrated ground
and what some Protestants consider the unpardonable sin.
Kay spoke of the morning Matthew's body was found and told
how she hugged his lifeless body as officials were carting it away — angrily
telling them she would be through when she was through, not at their prompts!
That was holy anger from a broken heart.
What incredible candor. What faith. What comfort their
example must have given others. (Just before it aired, I texted a friend whose
son took his life recently to suggest that he and his wife consider watching
the program.)
Toward the end of the interview, Rick spoke of trying to
find something purposeful in the pain he and his family are going through.
To encourage people with mental illness to get past their
sense of shame to get help.
To use their experience to counsel family members of people
with depression, personality disorders, or other mental illnesses.
The legal profession has used the label "sickness"
to defend thieves, child molesters, and murderers.
And, yes, some pulpits have replied by discounting any
notion of mental illness as merely a lame excuse for evading accountability.
Can't intelligent believers acknowledge the truth lies
between those extremes?
Bones can break and cripple a person; so can minds and brains.
There is
no shame in going to an orthopedic specialist to get treatment for a broken
bone; there should be no shame in seeking help from a therapist or psychiatrist
for mental illness.
Just as
prayer is a first-line Christian response to either physical or mental pain, so
should God's provision of trained professionals, medication, and therapy be
first-line responses too. Neither makes the other unnecessary.
I respect the Warrens for their courage and
thank God for what they tried to do for a wounded child. I pray their example
will be of great value to many.
“God is our merciful Father and the source
of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort
others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort
God has given us” (2
Corinthians 1:3-4 NLT).
Rubel Shelly preached for decades, been a
professor of medical ethics, Bible, and philosophy at multiple universities and
a med school. He is currently Professor of Philosophy & Religion at
Lipscomb University. He is the author of more than 30 books and hundreds of
inspirational articles. (Visit
the Author's Website)
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