.............................................................................................................................................................
Defining Moments
Losing Loved Ones To Alzheimer’s
Cheryl
Crofoot Knapp
“Defining moments
interrupt and change the direction of our life’s compass.“
“Why am I here? Why
can’t I be dead?”
Mom’s words spoken through a filter of mid-stage Alzheimer’s horrified me.
How could our nightly phone call take such a
terrifying turn?
I already lost my dad to Alzheimer’s.
The reality of my mom’s battle with the same
disease with the same terminal outcome socked me in the gut.
It was a defining moment in our relationship,
and I didn’t like it.
As her daughter and caregiver, our
relationship became defined by a disease that would take her away from me.
Two years later, an Emergency Room doctor
needed me to instruct whether he was to resuscitate my mom.
How could I be prepared to do that? I prayed
for months that Jesus wouldn’t let her suffer anymore.
But as I begged the doctor to let my mom go,
I didn’t expect the horrid tumult inside of me which challenged the core of my
faith.
Was she really going to a better place?
A nurse escorted me to her after her heart
labored through its final beat.
I struggled to breathe. But I stood beside my
beautiful Mom, kissed her lips, held her hand, praised, cried, and said goodbye
as my tears drenched her hospital gown.
Amos 9:11 says,
“I will repair its
broken walls and restore its ruins — and will rebuild it as it used to be.” (NIV)
My mom was no longer broken by Alzheimer’s.
My best friend of 58 years was being restored.
But I was separated from her, and my life
felt broken.
I questioned, Is God for real? Is Heaven for
real?
One unexpected defining moment for me was
when I recognized the need for Jesus and understood that Jesus knocked at the
door of my life, waiting for me to invite Him in (Revelation 3:14).
When I opened the door and let Him come in, I
was radically changed from the inside out. Jesus filled the spiritual hole in
my heart, and my sins were released.
My mom had opened the
door for Jesus too. Because of that, I often told Mom, “When Jesus comes for
you, it’s okay to go home.”
It was one thing to know she believed in
Jesus, but telling the doctor to let her die was an unexpected defining moment
that challenged my belief in Heaven.
I thought about the
thief on the cross who was told, “Today you will be with me in paradise”
(Luke
23:43 NIV),
and the Lord’s Prayer which Mom and I prayed together every night that says, “Your
will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven” (Matthew 6:10 NIV).
Is God for real? Is Heaven for real? Yes.
Twenty minutes after Mom died, I felt her
index finger twitch and saw a white spark shoot up from her fingertip that sent
a surge of static electricity through mine.
No wires connected her to any machine.
Moments later, the room felt empty.
I silently praised my Creator for His
faithfulness in defining moments.
Was the twitch when Mom reached for Jesus?
Was the electrical surge when her spirit left
her body for Heaven?
Was I touched by the Holy Spirit during the
release of my mom’s spirit?
Did God give me a glimpse of Heaven?
Defining moments brought me to a belief that
God and Heaven are for real.
God doesn’t have to give me defining moments,
but He offers them as His love gifts.
If I dare to believe in His eternal love, and
trust that His kingdom come and His will be done, He will show me grace in His
presence.
Why? Because He loves, He promises, and
because He can.
Just as God restored the House of David, He
restores me into spiritual eternity.
And I believe God’s Spirit escorts His
children personally into His glory.
Can God change your life?
God has made it possible for you to know Him
and experience an amazing change in your own life. Discover how you can find
peace with God. You can also send us your prayer requests.
Cheryl
Crofoot Knapp
is passionate about using her life experiences to encourage others. She is a
caregiving survivor, and a devoted wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend,
speaker, author, blogger, and Mrs. Minnesota-America 1996. She’s the author of
Undefeated Innocence, which combines personal and humorous anecdotes with
Biblical truths to share with caregivers that God’s grace is always sufficient.
She encourages readers to find passionate patience, look for life’s collateral
beauty, and recognize that it’s okay to store toothpaste in an underwear
drawer.
She
was a primary caregiver and life manager for her parents through their battles
with Alzheimer’s. Caregiving taught her about gains and losses, discovering
courage within herself, and the importance of having love and support from
those around her. She lost her dad to Alzheimer’s in 2010 and her mom to
Alzheimer’s in 2016. She says, “The dust continues to settle, and the plumb
line is set to a new normal.”
https://www1.cbn.com/devotions/defining-moments
You might also like:
Alzheimer's disease and
CLICK HERE . . . to view
No comments:
Post a Comment