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Unequally
Yoked
Dating an Unbeliever is Disobedience
Why
Being Unequally Yoked Is More Dangerous Than You Think
Phylicia Masonheimer
phyliciamasonheimer.com
What does Unequally Yoked mean?
Is dating someone who doesn’t share your beliefs really
such a big deal?
Actually, yes.
2 Corinthians 6:14 is the oft-cited verse calling
believers to be “equally yoked.”
But
many believers fail to see why this command from the Apostle Paul is so
important. Others disregard it completely.
Being equally yoked is not meant to inhibit our dating
lives. Rather, it is a command designed for protection and honor.
Being
unequally yoked is more dangerous than you think – and waiting for someone with
whom you share the same spiritual heritage is far more rewarding than many
believe.
Dating an Unbeliever is Disobedience
I once received an e-mail from a reader. In it, she said
she didn’t think God cared about who she dated or married – He had bigger
things to worry about.
But
this couldn’t be further from the truth. God has always cared about the unions
His people make – as evidenced by His relationship with Israel.
In Deuteronomy 7, Moses is instructing the Israelites in
their responsibilities as the people of God. They have been freed from slavery
and are now free men, about to enter the Promised Land. But Moses gives a
warning:
“You shall
make no covenant with [the people of the land] and show no favor to them. Furthermore, you shall not intermarry with them… for
they will turn your sons away from following Me to serve other gods…” (Deuteronomy 7:3-4)
Fast forward several hundred years, and we find Israel in
direct rebellion against God’s command:
“The sons of
Israel lived among the Canaanites…; and they took their daughters for
themselves as wives, and gave their own daughters to their sons, and served their gods.” (Judges 3:5-6)
It probably didn’t seem so harmful at first.
Perhaps
the Israelites felt like there weren’t enough women, or there weren’t enough
men to go around.
However
they rationalized it, the Israelites formed covenants between themselves and
people who neither knew nor served God. In so doing, they were led astray.
Over and over in Scripture, we see this theme repeated.
Two
are:
- Samson, who
repeatedly sought out unbelieving women, a choice which in the end destroyed
him (Judges 14),
and
- Solomon, the
wisest man in the world – until his many wives led him to worship other gods (1 Kings 11).
Uniting ourselves to people who do not love, follow, or
submit to Christ is direct disobedience.
Intimacy is Impossible Without Spiritual Unity
If Christ is truly King of our lives,
our most intimate selves should be submitted to His influence.
How
then can we unite a Spirit-led soul to one in rebellion against God?
This rubs people the wrong way,
because no matter how respectful, sweet, or “loving” an unbelieving partner is,
he is at odds with Christ – he is in rebellion.
But
if we call ourselves Christians, we’re saying we believe the Bible is
our final authority.
The Bible says that all have
sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and that without Christ we are “[unresponsive] in our transgressions,”
conformed to the world, “living by the
cravings of our flesh” and “by nature, children of wrath.” (Ephesians 2:1-3)
This
is who we are without Jesus.
This
is who everyone is apart from Christ.
Therefore, those of us in Christ
cannot be in a harmonious, God-pleasing relationship with an unbeliever. There
is no fellowship between light and darkness! (2 Corinthians 7:14)
The
Greek word for “fellowship” in this
passage literally means contactor intimacy.
Through
Paul’s inspired words, we learn that intimacy with unbelievers is not just
discouraged – it’s impossible.
God knows this. It’s why he commanded
the Israelites to marry within the household of faith, and it’s why He inspired
Paul to issue the same command. This is for our spiritual protection!
Righteousness
has nothing in common with a person who believes they are good enough apart
from God:
“For what do righteousness and
wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have
in common with an unbeliever?” (2 Corinthians 6:14-15)
No relationship apart from Christ can
be truly “good” (Mark 10:18).
No
“love” apart from Christ is true love
(1 John 4:16-17).
It
may look like these things from the outside, but will never be unified within.
Your Body is a Sanctuary of Worship
Paul’s mandate to be “equally yoked”
isn’t found in a list of commandments; it was written to the struggling church
at Corinth, a group of people confused about how to live for Christ in a
corrupt world.
That’s
why he took the time to explain whyequal
yoking is essential to the Christian walk:
“What agreement can exist between the
temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has
said:
‘I
will live with them
and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
and they will be My people.
Therefore come out from among them
and be separate, says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you.’” (2 Corinhians 6:16-17)
and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
and they will be My people.
Therefore come out from among them
and be separate, says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you.’” (2 Corinhians 6:16-17)
Your
body is the new Temple.
As a follower of Christ, the Spirit of God dwells in you. This is why God calls us to “come out from among them, and separate.”
He’s
not telling us to be unloving – we are called to love unbelievers (1 Peter 2:12).
God
is calling us to love Him more
than we love our own desire for a relationship. He’s calling us to be a place
of worship.
This is a call to reconsider your
view of God and dating.
God
cares about our relationships because He cares about us.
He
cares about our purity because that is what keeps us in a relationship with
Him!
Our
holiness preaches the gospel louder than our words. Unequal yoking hinders our
walk with God – the one thing we need more than anything else.
If you are already married to an unbeliever, the Bible
speaks to your next steps. Start by reading 1
Corinthians 7. Questions? Email Phylicia at phyliciadeltablog@gmail.com
Phylicia Masonheimer blogs at Phylicia
Delta, where she teaches women how to preach the gospel with
their lives: proclaiming Jesus in work, love, and home. Her eBook Christian
Cosmo launches March 1st, 2017.
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